Items of Security

February 19, 2009

Bun Bun Touch of color-700

Way back when I first started this blog, I wrote a post about the little things that must be with us at all times......Sarah's items of security. For those of you that were not following back then or in case you don't remember, there are three things that we have to take with us each and every time we leave the house: Her NuNu{our name for a pacifier}, her favorite pink blankie, and Bun Bun......Bun Bun is one of those little silky blankets with an animal on the end. This one happens to be a rabbit....he was once white, but now is looking kind of dingy.......no matter how many times he has gone for a spin in the old washing machine!! Bun Bun and the pink blankie have been with her since she was about a week old and she is very attached to them.....and when she gets tired or a crisis hits, nothing will substitute!

Now, I say that these items must go with us everywhere, but they are not in use at all times.....they are usually left in the car for those emergency situations....especially the pacifier. That is only used at night, during naps.....and if I must be honest....in the car too!!

So where am I going with this post......

I know almost all children need some sense of security and a lot of little ones carry stuffed animals and blankets for many years......but I am really starting to struggle with the pacifier. I realize that she is getting to the age, or is past the age that she should use one, but I have a really difficult time taking something away from her that gives her so much comfort.

Pacifiers seem to be one of those controversial subjects amongst Moms and Dads.........some people are totally against them, others love them. I always went with whatever made my babies happy.......and they both liked the pacifier and not their thumbs!!

So here I sit, trying to figure out how I take this item of security away from her and when is the right time to do it.

I know what you are all thinking.....if Nick used one, how did you get away from him??

Well.....let me tell you about Nick and his pacifier.........

I had a TERRIBLE time getting him to give it up. The scenario was much different because our lives were really turned upside down.....I had just recovered from a major illness and I was going through my divorce with his Dad. I had extreme guilt for all that this little guy had been through in his short little life, so I felt that if sucking a pacifier made him happy and secure, he should have it. As time went on, he used it less and less, but it was still there and I knew he needed to give it up....believe it or not......and please don't judge......he still had one at the age of.........5, yes you heard me, FIVE!! It was only at night and in our house and it did not go anywhere else......I had tried multiple times to take it away and it did not work. It was the start of Kindergarten for Nick and I told him that this was the year. No ifs, ands, or buts.......we had to FINALLY give it up!! We had it all planned out, we were going to give his pacifier to Santa Claus so he could give it to some other little baby who needed one.

It was quite a scene and extremely emotional........Til this day, I will never forget that Christmas Eve in our little apartment, standing in front of the Christmas tree. I can still see the tears running down his face and his little lips quivering.......He reached out and reluctantly set his very last pacifier on the plate of cookies we left for Santa. He let out the most gut wrenching sobs I had ever heard........it was devastating to watch, but I knew he needed to give it up. The weeks that followed Christmas were tough and Nick spent many nights crying for his beloved pacifier........but we eventually we made it through and we never looked back.

It looks as though we are ready to cross this bridge with Sarah.....At one time, we had a drawer full of pacifiers, but eventually they broke, got thrown out, or lost. We are down to our very last one and we told Sarah we were not buying anymore......when this one breaks or if she loses it, that is it.....they are gone.

I am hoping that she has an easier time with this than Nick. I am not good in these situations......and tend to get weak and give in...as in run to the store and buy more so my child stops sobbing. I know I come across as a strong person, but when it comes to my kids I am one big softy.

The pacifier was Nicks only security, Sarah has three, so I am praying that taking away just one of these items will not be as difficult for her. Do you think I am kidding myself......It is still going to be a rough, Isn't it?

53 comments:

Sandy Toes said...

Okay...I am going to choose my words wisely...tramautic...probaly not! But, I do like how the Super Nanny does it...she tells the child their is a pacifier fairy and she picks them and gives them to "babies" who really need one...so the child puts them All in the mailbox and the next day...there is streamers and confetti and a package from the pacifier fairy...like a little doll or something the child would really enjoy...ONCE you take it away..there is NO going back...according to the Nanny!

Just a litte FYI!...hang in there...when she is in grade school this will all be a distant memory!
-sandy toe

Colleen said...

As most will disagree with me I frankly don't care...I have raised six secure children...so here is my advice. Don't take it away she will get rid of it when she is ready.
My Tyler sucked his plug at night until he was 5, Livi was 5 and Chris was 4. Same with bottles...I think I used to fill my own bottle (I was four). I swear I don't drink a bottle any more (although I would like one every now and then). I don't believe in taking anything away that is comforting. Eventually they always give it up...I mean really, have you ever seen an 18 year old go off to college with a pacifier or wearing diapers? Why is everyone is such a rush to take things away? They are only little for a short time....I come from a big Italian family and heck I think my Grandmother nursed my aunt until she was like three LOL Trust me there are bigger worries then the pacifier.
So there you have it....my opinion. Please don't egg my blog.

OH MY #6 said...

Oh man this is a tough one for sure. But, tough you must be! But, I always thought they will never go to school with these things and they don't! RIGHT?!

Lea
xo

Sharie said...

I still have my blankets - they went to a box under my bed and then the box moved downstairs, but they are still in my house.
I'm struggling now with Amelia trying not to take her blanket in public because it embarasses me!
She only has it at nap at school - their new rule. That was a hard first couple days, but now she has "one last suck" (yes she sucks her blanket) and puts it in her locker. Soon we'll only have it at nap and bed and I hope she'll eventually give it up completely and it can join mine in the basement. I really think that's easiest - tappering off.

Kimi said...

Bless your heart...parenting is hard sometimes because we want to do what is best for our babies that we love so much!

First of all this is just my opinion and I don't think my way is the only way but for me I would not take it away, I feel if it gives them comfort and security then that is what is important. Having 3 children ages 26, 24 and 21, I have seen their lives flash by so quickly....I promise yesterday they were 2,4 and 6. I say let them have their comfort and security while they are little because they are not so little in a blink of an eye. They will let it go when they no longer need it.

Lisa, you are a wonderful mama and you are raising wonderful children!

Hugs,
Kim

Shelly and Family said...

I know we have talked about this issue before and with Francesca - it was her bottle but once she was using her bottle instead of wanting to eat...I got so mad - that's right MAD - that I ended up throwing them all away and that was it. It took her about a week to get over the bottle but it was so well worht is (she was about 22 months & she never used a bink). Now our Annabelle uses a bink and it is coming to the time where we too must figure out a way to get rid of it. (I am not a fan of the bink...being honest here). Not sure what we are going to do, but we have until her 2nd birthday (which is in April) to figure something out. You must keep me posted on what works for Sarah. I heard a lot of ways to do it, but I am still not sure. Could use any advise I can get...

Hoping to call you tomorrow. Between potty training Francesca (which is going well) and being sick, I am just so tired by lunch time I have to lay down when the girls do. Feeling better tonight so I am hoping we can catch up tomorrow...Miss our talks so much!

carolinagirl said...

I love your ability to write!!! I love reading your posts!!! We used pacifiers too. We called them our "friends". I am a softy!!! I did not relish the thought of taking the friends away. It was easier somehow with our oldest, but he was at least three when we did it. Our youngest was almost impossible. I don't really remember the last time he got to have it, but I do remember it being hard. We also had a few friends left...my Jackson liked to have at least three friends with him at all times. He had this way of shuffling them thru his fingers...incredible at that age. Anyway, he came across one somewhere in our house one night and he was over 4 years old, and it had been at least a year since we took it away, and we found him in his bed sucking away on it. Like a guilty pleasure! It actually broke my heart to take it away!

My husband is a dentist, and he has never worried about a pacifier...that is something that you can take away from a child. Our best friend's son will turn 7 in one month, and he still sits and sucks his thumb when he gets tired (we saw that this weekend). SO..I don't really have an answer for you. You'll know when it's time. If you are not feeling up for the challenge, then I would say hold off for a little while. It's not the end of the world obviously - just look at Nick!
Have a great night! I may be emailing soon...I got Lightroom yesterday and haven't a clue where to start. Any suggestions for help references?

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

I will have to say that only 1 of my children kept a paci past the age of 1...
KyLee and she had hers till she was 3.. and really they didn't know she was 3 because she was sooo little..
but we did the whole..okay.. you throw it away and it is gone..
And she did very well with it..but every child is different..
Good luck..
Hugs..

Carol VR said...

My nephew had one and I HATED it. He even wore it attached to his tux in our wedding photos.

I always despised pacifers, however we had the same thing going with Dakota and a favorite doll which had to go everywhere. It's arm is near off but we have it tucked away for safe keeping and even bought a look alike doll when the first became unbearable to travle with.

I wish you luck.

Casey said...

Well... I'm the last one to help. Liam STILL has his bunny. It is a skanky old thing and he only sleeps with it now - but I should have nipped that one a long time ago!! HAHA!!

I wish you luck!! And BTW- That picture is adorable!!!

Jodee Leader said...

Lisa -- This is a tough one! I think the sooner you take it away, the better. I also like the fairy idea too. I think things get more difficult the older they get. I wish my kids had pacifiers that I could take away. Instead, we have two thumb suckers! It's a little hard to send the thumbs to the fairies! We are going to be good job security for our dentist!

Chinazhoumom said...

Ok hate me - but - GET RID OF IT - I only say this since I am the duaghter of a dentist-whose uncle was(deceased) a childs dentist - they are REALLY onlt needed for babies - sure kids get used to them - they are awful for their teeth as well as speech - yes it can affect that as well - I think the path you are going - ie once it breaks is a nice way to do - But you must stick to your decision - even if she crys big ole tears - this too shall pass - I say reward her with something little (dollar store stuff) if she gives it up her self...make her feel like it is her decision and she is a big girl! You can do it!!!
ps my daughter never used a bink...

Jboo said...

I think my son gave his pacifier up when he was 3 and it wasn't too traumatic! Maddy has had various security items through the years --usually some stuffed animal or another! She sucked one finger for the longest time, but her daycare worked with all the kids her age one summer who sucked thumbs and fingersand she gave it up very quickly. Good luck!

Janet

Rachel said...

It might not be as traumatic as you expect. My younger son loved his "ba ba". We thought taking it away would be so tough. We finally did it just after he turned 3, we gave it to the "ba ba fairy" for a new baby to use. We gave him a small gift in exchange and that was the end of it. He did not have trouble sleeping, he did not mourn it, etc.

Good luck!

Rachel

Jennifer said...

Bless your heart! Landree has a blanket that she is the same way with. I don't always bring it with us and if she asks for it in the car I tell her it's at home and we can get it as soon as we get home...as far as the paci...she used one until she was about 5 months old and then dropped it for her thumb. I almost wish she took a paci so could take it away! You can't cut their thumbs off! A friend {our and Sarah's age} just dropped their paci. They cut it a little bit at a time and then when there wasn't any paci left they ditched it. Sorry I don't have more experience than that! I think you'll be fine since she has her other lovies :) Keep us posted :)

The Byrd's Nest said...

You don't know me that well...yet...but....do not throw that precious baby's paci away. My first two children never had a blankie, paci, sucked their thumb or anything. Then came Lottie...her thumb and her blankie (fondly named "stink") are something she truly needs. I believe in my heart that some children just need this extra security... and the comfort it gives to them. When I lay down with Lottie at night and watch her finger this blankie over and over again...I am watching her body grow very calm so that she can peacefully sleep. My vote is to let her have all of these things that make her happy. Stink is no longer allowed inside stores...he has to stay in the car because we almost lost him at Walmart...I even made them make an announcement over the loud speaker!

P.S. I sucked my thumb until I was 8 yrs. old and I turned out to be okay!

Our Complete Family said...

Oooh, girly~ I'll be in your boat one day, too, since Miss Priss has a paci she uses at nap time, bed time and when she is really fussy or has a boo boo. You'll have to keep me posted on how all this goes down!
Bryce never wanted a paci or his thumb so I'm clueless!
I haven't thought about taking Caroline's away though b/c I figure no one graduates high school with one (oh lordy, I hope not anyway!!!) so we'll be safe!
Love the pic. She looks adorable as always. And your photo shoot below? She is going to LOVE those pics and want to frame them all hun!
xo, Les
p.s. How are you, Sarah and Pat feeling? Did Nick ever catch the bug or did he stay o.k.? Hope all are better now!

"Hello... It's Me Again..." said...

I work with a lady who did this to get rid of the pacifier.

They told their child that the baby squirrels needed it. They told their child that they needed to wash the pacifier and they put a bow on it, then walked outside to her swing set and left it on the top part of her slide because that is where all squirrels look for pacifiers. The next morning they went out to check the slide and sure enough, the squirrels had taken it during the night (daddy did it, but they never told). She was happy knowing the baby squirel had it.

Belinda said...

Hey Lisa,

Well I am just going to tell you that Sarah looks beautiful in the picture you took.... Elise came home from Guatemala very attached to her bottle.. I took it away from her after she had been with us for about 8 months just before her 2nd Birthday... She only cried a little.. for about 4 days at bed time and nap time... she did not have a paci and Edward never took one sooooo I am not much help..

Images By Missy said...

Lis,

Paige took a bottle until she was 5 years old and we have never once...NEVER...felt bad about it. She got rid of it when she was good and ready.

I, for one, am much more concerned with little ones feeling secure. She REALLY won't go to Kindergarten with it. It's not really hurting anyone.

After hearing that angelic little voice this afternoon, it is quite apparent that her speech isn't affected one bit.

My vote...let her get rid of it on her time. Just my .02 cents.

Love ya and enjoyed our chat!

a Tonggu Momma said...

The Pacifier Fairy worked well for all of our friends. The Tongginator never used one, so I have no clout in this area.

But - in the end - you have to do what feels right for you. If you take it away, then give it back, it only makes things worse. So be strong in your decision, whether it's in facing your daughter's tears or in facing the judgments of other parents. LOL.

Jennifer said...

Oh Lisa, I feel for you! It is so hard! Matthew did not take a pacifier, but he had a blanket, and still does. He "gave it up", on his own.
Michael, has no pacifier, but he sucks his thumb :(
I JUST told him yesterday, that when he turns 4 in a few weeks, he will have to stop. Now, I have no idea how that is going to happen
:(....
I think you should do what works for you and Sarah, but I do know that some of my friends, let their kids trade it in at the toy store for a new toy?
Good luck, I will be thinking of you :) Love the picture!

Jen

M3 said...

Hey you never know, taking the paci away might be unexpectedly easy and you'll laugh at how you worried about it. That's what happened when we had to take away Ro's stuffed baba and drea that she sucked on (bleck) every night. (We had to take them away because the sopping wet fabric against her chin gave her a nasty rash that we couldn't get rid of). Anyhow I was dreading the horrible scene but we explained it to her and she kind of shrugged and switched her love over to some stuffed animals that she now hugs when she sleeps. I couldn't believe it. Ree, on the other hand, sucks her thumb and we're kind of stuck on that one. We can't easily take the thumb away and we don't want to make a big deal about it so we're just letting that one ride for right now. It makes her happy and she only does it at bedtime before she falls asleep. We'll see how that story turns out. :-)

Briana's Mom said...

I wish I knew what to tell you! Briana never used a pacifier. I actually tried to give her one once when we were in China because she was really distraught and I didn't know what else to do. She was confused by it and didn't want it at all. I wish I had some advice. :(

You know Briana's security is the infamous "baby"! I couldn't take that baby away from her if I tried!

Good luck!!!!!

Amy said...

I remember this time well with my little one. My youngest son was about 4 1/2 when he gave his up. He had 6 pacifiers with him at all times. (We used to tease that we were going to take him to the Betty Ford Center.) ;)

But when he was 4 1/2, he saw a newborn baby sucking a pacifier, and he realized that it "maybe looked ridiculous." So, after that day, he said, "Mommy, I'm too old to suck this...." It broke both of our hearts, but he never looked back.

Just remember, she won't go to college with any of the security items.

((BIG {comforting}HUGS!)))
God Bless,
Amy:)

Lucy said...

I'm so with you on this...I too can't take anything away from M that gives her so much comfort. Although she doesn't use a pacifer, she sucks her thumb which is worse because I have no control over it. But I don't even try to get her to stop, her thumb is flat, her nail doesn't grow, she gets blisters, and it becomes horribly chapped. There's nothing I can do about it and I don't even try. The thumb is different because it's always there, pacifers you have to look for and make sure you always have one on hand. I can see how that gets to be too much. It drove my sister crazy. She had her daughter box all of hers up, color the box, and took it to the post office where they mailed them to me! Yes me, because baby Magnolia was coming and she would need them more! It was hard for a week or so but she recovered. Good luck and keep us posted how it goes. Glad to know I'm not the only "softie" out there. :) Lucy

Doug and Terrye said...

I remember trying to take my sons' security items away from them 20 some-odd years ago...ouch! I have a very strong opinoin about those security items (now that I am an old woman lol)! They should NOT take them to college with them ;)

Terrye in FL

Sandra said...

I like the idea of the pacifier fairy, but ultimately you need to do what you think is best, regardless of what others thing. You know Sarah best. I am sure she won't go into highschool with one in her mouth ;-)

My girls never used a pacifier, but Jazzie still cannot give up her blankie that we gave her in China. It is now a faded, torn piece of cloth, but she HAS to have it at night and when she is scared, tired or sick. She used to have it with her at ALL times, but now the rule is that she can only have it in her room.

I know this is a tough one, but you will make the right decision!

sara said...

oh man, oh man! I kinda think she is young enough to keep it(her NuNu) too! I don't think that she counts her security items - you know? I think she thinks those things are HERS and any one of them being gone is going to freak her out!! My kids all have blankeys & though the older ones keep them put up, sometimes they still like to get them out - my Carter has his pacifier until he was 3. OH yeah, he loved it too!!! Good Luck, Lisa!

At Home In Georgia said...

What a story about Nick. I love being a mom but man is it hard some days. My oldest never wanted a binky or thumb but my youngest LOVES her thumb. She is in 1st grade...if I see her doing it during the day I just say it's not bedtime...I don't know what I am going to do next.

I like Sandy Toes idea. But you have some time.

Jo said...

Oh I remember the binky days well ~ my Nick had quite the personal collection. He also had a bunky bear and a blanket. We took the binky away at 3. He had his other comforts to help him through. In hind sight, I would have let him keep it a little longer. It was really my husband's prompting to take away the binky.
If you have any major events coming up in your home (like your adoption) I would let her continue to keep it for comfort and security.

If she takes it off to college, then you should worry :)

Have a great weekend,
Jo

Sherri said...

I don't think it's going to be nearly as bad as you are anticipating. Sometimes being a parent is hard but we know what's right for our kids. If you are feeling like it's time to chuck it, then you are right. For older kids it's more habit than need anyway. I like the suggestions you have received. It's teaching kindness to pass along the pacifier to another child in need than to just throw it in the garbage.

Maybe you could take Sarah shopping for a new one and when she sees they only make them for babies and not 3 year olds than you are not the one making the decision to take it away. She will see that they just don't exist for big kids. Good luck Lisa!!

Ivy said...

Hi Lisa,
I'm sure you have gotten 32 good comments before mine, so I'll be brief!

It doesn't matter if a child is adopted or bio, some all have their security trinkets. Kira has several too and they are strategically located in the house and car. She sucked her thumb till the palate surgery and now just hugs a wash cloth and picks at it till she sleeps. Why take it away I ask, when it's the only source of comfort she had in the orphanage and it still soothes her.
I had a silly Donald Duck bubble bath bottle that to this day I remember being taken away from me! I didn't understand it and now just think it was plain mean (it was a pre-school teacher).
My feeling is that these items are important to her and comfort her in some way we don't understand. She may be reaching some new milestones too in her life, so I believe when children are ready, they will trade in their trinkets of comfort when they are ready. I'm sure you're debating both sides, but if it won't hurt her (per the dentist or pedi doc) I'd let her keep it and use it perhaps at bedtime instead of traveling as a way to at least begin to wean her from it.
Hope that made sense!
I miss Donald:))

Ivy

Colleen said...

Ohhhh please don't worry too much. I would let her hang on to it as long as she needs to. My 3 have all used the pacifier, but gave it up pretty young so I don't really have too much advice...only support!:)Of course my middle one had a bottle until he literally could chew the "nippy" off...I finally then decided he was too old for it. (this after taking the bottle away from my first born as soon as he turned 1 because I thought that is what you were "suppose" to do)
Faith still has to drink her milk from a sippy cup and she is 5 1/2.
They all seem to turn out just fine with what ever way you go.
And in case you decide to take it away, my Mother-in-law use to always tell me the story about my husband who was glued to his pacifier and about his final day with it. She took him into the bathroom, dropped his pacifier in the toilet, flushed it, and said "see it is gone now forever." I don't think it effected him TOO much! lol Although you probably would not want to be quite so cruel!:)(I can't believe she did that! I guess they did things a lot different back then!)lol
Keep us posted!!! I know you will know exactly what to do....your a wonderful Mom!!!

LaLa said...

Well, both of mine suck two fingers...same two, different hands. When Annslee was little I thought it was soooo cute...she is 4 it isn't cute anymore! Plus, it is one of the major of her speech issues as it makes her tongue thrust. We have worked tirelessly on this...she also has two other security things...a blanket that was Daddy's when he was a baby and her "piyo" (pillow) Honestly, if she'd give up the pillow we'd be done...we joke that it is like coffee and cigarettes...just mention the pillow and the fingers go in!! Now the rule is the pillow and blanket stay in her bed so luckily it is working and she sucks on her fingers only at bedtime : ) Coby, I've learned my lesson and yank them out of his mouth..mean Mommy!! I tried really hard to get him to take a pacifier when we came home b/c I knew I could throw it in the trash (or something more creative) later.

I used a paci until I was 3.5...my mom rolled down my window and told me a little girl in a yard wanted one and I threw it out the window...would that work for you ? LOL

Seriously, I have no good advice..just letting you know we are in the same boat except I can't throw their fingers in the trash ...

Like Colleen said, don't sweat it too much...my theory is they all (mostly) go to Kindergarten walking, talking and pooping on the potty...she'll be fine.

Oh and Kim...good to know about your thumb sucking LOL

Meredith Teagarden (The Things We Carried) said...

Jane's pacifier (binky) sneaked out of the house one day when we were not looking and went to play at the park.

Jane was sad her binky was not in her moth, but happy to think of it sliding a swinging!

Rebekah said...

I had a terrible time taking away my daughter's pacifier. During one of her dentist visits when she was 3, the dentist informed us that it was time for it to go because her teeth were getting spaced out. She heard the dentist say it, so I was relieved that it wasn't me that was the bad guy. However, I still had to do it. So, we tried something that I think I read in Parents Magazine. We planted the pacifier (which was pink) in a pot, watered it, and she went to bed. I went out that night and purchased a beautiful pink flower and planted it in the pot. When she woke up in the morning, she was so surprised to see her beautiful flower. She would occasionally say that she missed her paci, so she would go out and talk to her flower and give it hugs. The plant is still alive after a year and she still calls it her pacifier flower.

Kayce said...

With J we slowly took his away, naps and bedtime then only bedtime. It was a struggle and took some time. Hang in there, I'm sure it will work out wonderfully. Have a great weekend.

Heather said...

Zoe takes the blanket that we brought to her in China everywhere. It is her security. My husband & I have discussed many times how we are going to blankie have surprise her with it being in her wedding bouquet!

I think as she sees other kids without their binkies, she will lose interest in it. Eventually, it will only be a memory!

Gail said...

Ah yes....the transitional objects. My oldest had a blankie and blankie got left behind(by mistake) in a laundromat in California when we were moving cross country when he was 4. It was traumatic but he tranferred to something else as I recall. Now when you adopt internationally it's a bit different because many times they come with something they are already attached to. With Will it is his blankie and I can't take that away from him because for the longest time that's the only thing he'd ever known from China and his foster home. He will go places now and leave blankie in the car and I'm hoping to wean back from blankie by the time he starts preschool. You may be pleasantly surprised and it won't be a big deal. BTW Grace sucked on a small bottle of water at night until she was 3, I took it away one night and she didn't make a peep.

Michelle said...

Hi Lisa,
I don't have any experience in pacifiers, so I am of no help on this one. But your little Sarah sure looks adorable with her security items.

Have a great weekend!

Dawn said...

Lisa,

Both of my sons have had and still have their security blankets. Ryan (who is 18) still sleeps with his (sshhh! don't tell him I said that!) and when he is sick, he ALWAYS has it wrapped around his neck. Dominic has a white "blank" and still sleeps with this up by his face. Both are very "gently worn"!!! Both of the blankets had a silk edging around them, but the silkie is long gone!!! Ryan never took a pacifer (not for me not trying!! lol!) Dominic was VERY attached to his pacifer, "butch" as he liked to call it. (Never could figure out where he came up with that name!!) It was shortly before his 3rd birthday that we decided to wean him off. We purposely did not give him a nap that first day so that he would be very tired and fall asleep easily that night. Worked like a charm. I think he only asked for it a couple times after. What helped though, I think is that he was in daycare at the time and he was only allowed to have it at naptime. I probably would of let him have it longer if he would of been really upset about it. The only thing was he was starting to get an overbite from using it and the dentist recommend that we try weaning him off of it. The overbite did correct itself once he was done using his "butch" though. It is so hard, especially when they are sooo attached to them!! I wish you the best of luck! Keep us posted on your progress!

Dawn
ps. I just love the pink in the picture!!

Julie said...

My kids never used paci's. My 8 year old son still sucks his thumb. Everyone told me he would grow out of it and he still hasn't - wish I had done something when he was little.
My friend told her daughter that when she turned 3 the paci fairy comes to take all the paci's for new babies. She left behind a new toy and a note telling her she was officially a big girl now. She expected alot of problems but it went much better than she expected.
Good luck!!

Carebear said...

Oh, honey, I don't envy your difficult decision. Neither of my kids attached to anything but me and their milk supply, so I can't say I know what you're going through. What I will say is this, don't let societal pressure convince you that there is a necessary age at which to take the pacifier away. I never saw a middle school child sucking a pacifier, so take this as a good sign that your little gal will outgrow and let go when the time is right for her. If it is too hard to break her habit for her, what's the harm in letting her decide for herself? If you must, maybe do it like weaning from the breast or bottle - one feeding at a time. Meaning, take it from the least necessary place first (no more binky in the car, once that's comfortable, no more binky at nap, etc.) Good luck mommy!

Jennifer said...

This is so hard. We are starting to talk to Katie about sucking her thumb. I am trying to limit it to at night. She still sucks her thumb throughout the day.

I asked the Peditrican at her 3 yr old visit and she acted like it was no big deal. That I didn't even need to stop her. I was going to ask again at her 4 yr old visit. This is a hard one!

Jen

Sandy said...

Well, another trick that worked! At age 3, our son gathered all of his Nuks and put in a baggy. To the doctor we went and the DR took the bag and one by one, tossed them.

HE became the bad guy!

Every time we drove by the clinic after that, my son would say, "bye-bye Nuk!"

It worked! Hugs!

Twice as Nice said...

HI, I just found your blog and your photography is amazing!
My son was on the bottle until age 4. He only had it when he was lying down and never in public. This boy didn't know how to eat cake on his first birthday because he didn't eat solid food! All kids are different and quit beating yourself up. I'll bet you're a great parent. My suggestion would be to come up with something VERY special to replace the pacifier with. She can only have that thing when she would normally have the pacifier and make a big deal about how special it is. All this after telling her other babies need her pacifier and she is a big girl and maybe have her pick out that special something. If it doesn't happen today try in a few weeks. Eventually she will be pacifier free!

Kristin said...

My sister-in-law to be had a take the pacifiers to the trash man one day and then out for a big treat so her child would feel empowered. She said it went well....until bed time..., smile. She said she was blowing kisses to her pacifiers and saying bye, bye pasci's!

Side note. Your photography is so good and just getting more wonderful every time I get on here! Oh, I wished you lived in Atlanta. We would have to go and shoot together and well, you are just so easy to be around so I am certain we would find smiles too. Have a great weekend! Hope all is well with you.

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Sorry, but I am glad it is you and not me... then again... my turn is coming... hahahaha

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Dita said...

Oh, I can see this is a controversial subject...50 comments so far! I haven't seen this many comments on GIVEAWAYS!

I am a pacifier mother from way back. My son had one and my daughter has one now. I love them and I think that babies need to suck and soothe. I also believe that it thwarts thumb sucking which I know is a much harder habit to break.

As you know every child and every situation is different. With Nick I can imagine that those years were some of the most stressful times anyone can face dealing with cancer and divorce. I can understand why you didn't want to take if from him sooner.

My son was about 3 when his last pacifier bit the dust somewhere and I had to really stop myself from replacing it. We were only using it at night but truth be told...I would have probably let him have it longer because I don't like to admit my children aren't babies anymore!

Only you know your daughter and her ability to handle situations.
Because Sarah has other security items I do think it will be easier for her to let it go than if she had nothing else. My son had a stuffed animal which he still guards with his life and I believe that is what saved us from Dante's 8th level of Hell. Your post has inspired me to write about that little buddy of his!

One thing I am thinking of though is since you are waiting for number 3 you might want to make a decision now as to whether you are going to let it ride or take it away because you wouldn't want to make any sudden moves anywhere NEAR your new addition's arrival at your house.

Poor Sarah, poor Mommy and Daddy...I know how hard it is not to give them every single thing in the world when they want it!

You are a wonderful mom...go with your gut and don't let anyone pin you down to a timeline that doesn't work for your baby.

Kam said...

Oh friend, I have no advice at all. I'm still tore up over sweet Nick and his tears and quivering lip! I know it has to be done...and it will be. I've never seen an adult or even a teenager for that matter walking around with a pacifier...but it doesn't make your job any easier to know that! Oh, good luck. You're a fantastic mom, I'm sure you'll come up with something!

The Golf Widow said...

My oldest had just turned 3(I also had 19month old and a newborn).We had tried for a year to bribe/trick/convince her she did not need a pacifier any more since she was big girl.

She went to the store with her daddy and saw some silly plastic finger nails and said she would trade trade her pacifier if she could have them. He bought them and she willingly made the trade.She slept with those aweful finger nail tips until she lost them, but never asked again about the "pappy".

With her long hair,Sarah looks 4, but she's only 2. That's a baby in my book.Don't stress over it.It would be easier to take it now, but pick your battle.I missed having my goto item.The pacifier always worked instantly to calm mine down.I knew I let her keep it for so long because it made it easier for me.

Good luck!