Sunday Snapshot - "Be Kind"

January 28, 2012

The kindest word quote

Be Kind texture BLOG
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
~Mark Twain~

Be Kind to My Girl BLOG
"Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not."
~Samuel Johnson~

Be Kind Bokeh Texture BLOG
"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness."
~Seneca~

Over the last few months I have received a few anonymous comments that were far from kind.
According to the technology I use to track visits to my site, I can see the location of the
person who is commenting and I have reason to believe that all of the "unkind" comments were left by the same person.

The first few comments that came in, I simply deleted and moved on. I did not want to shed light on the subject or give this person the satisfaction of a response. It was obvious they did not like me or agree with the way I raised my children, so I hoped they would simply go away and stop visiting.

It seems "Anonymous" has no plans to go away because she struck again this week........
and this comment, I cannot let slide.

You can attack me, my photos, my opinions, my choices, or the way I dress my girls but DO NOT EVER call my child "disgusting" because she sucks her two fingers.

Not that I need to defend myself or Reagan, but seriously, she is only 26 months old.
I know a lot of children that still suck their thumbs/fingers or pacifiers at this age and OLDER!!
Not to mention, she has only been home with us for a little over a year. Sucking her fingers was the only thing she had to sooth and comfort herself while laying in her crib day after day in the orphanage. There is no way I would force my daughter to give up something that brings her so much comfort.....NO WAY!

This blog has been open for just about 4 years and I have never had an issue with Anonymous comments. In fact, I get a lot of anonymous comments that are kind and supportive. I know there are many blog readers and some of my family members that don't have Google Accounts to leave comments, that is why I leave the anonymous comments open.....but if this continues, I will be forced to shut them down.

I don't expect everyone to agree with every word I write, and I know that people will have differing opinions, but if you cannot express your thought or opinion in a nice and respectful way, then maybe it is best that you don't say anything at all.

Be Kind....

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To see more Sunday Snapshots, head on over to my friend Stefanie's blog

Sunday Snapshot

110 comments:

Kathy said...

Sorry you are having to deal with nasty people on your blog. I for one enjoy reading your blog and love looking at your awesome photos. You, in my eyes, are doing an awesome job raising all of your children, as you see needed, and that is all that matters.
A mother and father, now what is best for their children.
Thank you for sharing your family with us.

Noneofyour... said...

Oh my Lord, don't point them my way! We adopted Lilly from Hunan in 2002 at 6 months and the first thing she did after they handed her to me was put those two fingers in her mouth and lay her head on my shoulder. Fast forward to today...she's just short of 10 years old and she STILL sucks those fingers to self soothe at night before bed, or sometimes when she's just really tired. We highly discourage it in public, but heck, what else are we supposed to do?

Julia said...

As the recipient of a couple of "anon" comments, I know how hard they are to ignore. Obviously this person didn't get a reaction before, so they're digging deeper to see if they can strike a nerve, which only seems to backfire on them, because it only confirms how needy they really are.

As for the sucking fingers, every time I see Reagan that way, it reminds me of my youngest (now 11). She sucked her fingers just like that for the longest time, and used them as a soother at bed time till she was at least 8 or so. I remember when she was 3 or 4, I took them out of her mouth one day and honestly I thought I broke her heart. She cried the most pitiful tears ever. I never did that again, and just let her do it in her own good time. So she eventually gave it up on her own, just like Reagan will one day.

ourlifeinaclick.blogspot.com said...

You totally don't deserve that! Sorry you had to deal with that. My 12 yr old daughter and I love your blog!!

Wendy said...

Being anonymous makes some people feel like they have the right to be unkind and lash out. Most people who do this are jealous. You have a beautiful family and you take beautiful photography...both enviable qualities (and I'm sure you have more). The person is probably jealous. Doesn't make the comments less hurtful. I'm sorry.

Gale said...

Oh, that is the sweetest thing about her!!! Love how that is the way she comforts herself! My daughter (n0w 22) sucked her thumb when nervous or upset until 10, then decided she was done with it. Never doubted that she would stop at some point...oh, and for the naysayers who said, "She'll have buckteeth, her smile is perfect...no orthodontia needed!!!"

maria said...

Sorry for the unkindness..I have a two year old with a bottle (how awful)!! I get most of those comments at church!!! a 7 year old sucks thumb at night and 10 year old who still with a blanket!!! Such a bad Mom:) Love you blog..

M3 said...

Oh sweetie, comments like those are just plain stupid. Who on earth thinks that they have the right to leave mean comments just because no one can see their name? If it makes you feel any better, I was completely shocked to hear that anyone (even a lame anonymous troll) could even think of one bad thing to say about you. Carry on you awesome mama, and feel free to use my friend Johnny's motto "My blog, my delete key" with relish!

Virginia said...

So sorry you've had to deal with this cowardly person. What makes a person think they can really give unwanted parenting advice to someone they've never even met and about things they know nothing about?! Uggh.

Kelly And Allison said...

Sorry you have to deal with this. No one should judge how other people's situation because they are not in it. I love your blog.. Just ignore her/him. Not worth your attention.

Cora said...

Our girls have had to develop coping mechanisms that even we can never understand, who are we to take them away. Chloe does not suck her fingers but she "clicks" or sucks her tongue. Reagan is a beautiful girl and thank you for not letting anyone get away with saying anything else!

Patricia/NYC said...

Ugh, Lisa, I am so sorry you have to deal with such ignorant commentor(s)...There is absolutely no reason for anyone to be mean (kind of sad that people think they can be mean to others).

YOU are an AWESOME person/mom/photographer/cook!!! And I am so lucky that I have been able to meet you in person! You keep doing what you are doing because you have BLESSED so many people in so many ways!!

ROCK ON, my friend!!
HUGS!!!

Heather H. said...

I am sorry, so very sorry this has happened to you. In the big picture of life it's small, but it's a hurtful small thing. Hence why I do not have a public blog. But if you didn't, I never would have met you, and that would have been my loss.

And I think I will end now before angry, unkind (and probably expletive) words come out directed at Anonymous.

Love,
Heather

funks said...

So sorry you've had to deal with this. For what it's worth, Reagan is just adorable, ESPECIALLY with her precious little fingers in her mouth! Cara "sucks" in her sleep to pacify herself. I agree, when a child spends so much time in a crib in an orphanage, they're going to find a way to soothe themselves.

Anonymous said...

Wow - so sorry this happened to you. Like M3, I was shocked there would be anything that anyone would be unkind about your beautiful family. There is nothing wrong with Reagan sucking her fingers to soothe herself! Thanks for always sharing your life with us and allowing anonymous comments for those of us who do not blog or have accounts. I hope whoever this unkind person is can find happiness and compassion in their own lives that they can apologize to you and then leave you alone! By the way, LOVE these photos and sayings! Hugs, Wendy

Annika said...

I really don't have words to respond, yet I feel compelled to respond in some way... because the comment was so out of line, because your daughter is amazing and wonderful and so stinking cute when she has those two fingers in her mouth... What could be sweeter? Because my daughter (waiting in China for one more week) is the same age as your daughter and your posts and photos have helped me get through the wait to bring home my little girl. Because when I've struggled with waiting I've looked at your pictures and imagined what my little girl might be like... Because I don't think the mama bear in any of us could stand by and let a comment like that fly-- not about our own child and not about someone else's. Because many adoption blogs have gone private in the last year or so and you've stayed open, offering support and encouragement to those of us in process. Because because because.

Anonymous-- if you can't sign your name to it and hold your head high while you do so, you don't have any business saying it.

Debbie said...

This has really shocked me, Lisa! I totally agree with all the previous comments, esp Annika. Your blog kept my "head above the water" while we waited for Gracie. Mark was working away from home at that time too and I felt so alone. Every morning I would check your blog and it always felt like you were saying "Hang on in there"... Im so grateful that you didnt have a private blog and "allowed" us to peek into your lives. Reagan, like my Gracie (who stlll has her dummy BTW!) is just a baby!!!!!!

Pieni Lintu said...

Sorry to hear that. :(

I really love your blog and pretty photography!!! <3

DiJo said...

M3 - Amen!! LOVE that quote!!!!!
Anonymous - STOP picking on my friend/friends...
(I have had very little sleep lately, and this really ticks me off!) Jealousy is a very ugly and exhausting emotion that must be eating you up inside! Does it really make you feel better to attack a special person that is doing their best in all things, including make a very BIG difference in the lives of others!!! What are you doing to help Orphans, or the less of these? I think it is time to look in the mirror and figure out what your real issue! Your tongue (or in this case your keyboard) is being used as a weapon. Time for a great big heart check today.. And perhaps a direct request for forgiveness to Lisa and anyone else you have anonymously attacked lately!

Love you Lisa, and that precious Reagan.. Great post and good for you for calling Miss A on her nastiness!

Hugs from the PICU!
~Diana

Courtney said...

So sorry this is happening. I have had one mean comment and they really hurt. I don't know why people feel the need to say cruel things. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

connie said...

Hey, Lisa, sorry you have a follower too cowardly to leave his/her name. I DID shut down anonymous comments about a year ago for this very reason. The same person was leaving critical comments anonymously. I did the same thing you did at first - ignored her. Then I called her out and shut 'er down. Thing is, to sign up for a Google account takes 5 seconds and is totally free so that was the way to go for me! Especially since my anonymous know-it-all was a person who had been stalking our family for over a year :( Blessings to you and your beautiful family!

Sharon said...

Ugh, I've so been there...but I can understand why I would receive this type of abuse, but you???? I can't imagine how someone could come up with one single negative thing about you. I'm sorry.

The Gang's Momma! said...

Oh, for cryin' out loud. Really? She's TWO!!!!!!! TWO, for Pete's sake. And trust me, there are far less healthy ways she could be soothing herself. EVEN with "adoption issues" not on the table - two year olds comfort themselves. Sheesh. Me thinks Anonymous needs to get a life. A real one with real issues. Ugh.

Jodee Leader said...

Oh my word! Are you flippin' kidding me?! I am "disgusted" to read that someone would actually write that. Two words for Anonymous -- click away!

So sorry you had to bring this subject up!

Love, love, love these sweet pictures of Reagan! I heart V-Day!

Number 6 and no more counting! said...

I am sorry that you have had to deal with Lisa. These type of low life people seem to step it up and step it off more. I love the way you have respectively try to deal with it.

lea
xo

elizabeth b said...

That is absurd. I sucked my thumb until I had braces! I did it while watching TV and to fall asleep. All little kids do something to comfort themselves. Who cares and what does it hurt?

Robin said...

Beautiful pictures and well said. A jealous heart is a hurtful one.



Blessings sweet friend,
Robin

Mia's Mommy said...

Ugh! I'm sorry your "anonymous" has reared her ugly head again. And that's just what she is ...ugly. Ugly in spirit, ugly in heart, ugly and miserable in her own life.

Why does someone feel they need to spread that and try to cause hurt for another person? Don't let "anonymous" do that to you.

You are one of the kindest people I've never met. LOL. Your beautiful heart and beautiful generous spirit shine through in your words, your photos and your actions.

It's too bad that "anonymous" is so jealous of that...

Anonymous said...

Take no heed to the comment. Whoever is just jealous. We have a 5 yr. old from Hunan that sucks the same two fingers. She may go to College doing that. AND that is just fine. She is brilliant, happy and adjusting, so Who cares what Jealous says or feels. By the way, I love Reagan.
Blessings on all your family.
GG

The Princess's Mommy said...

Seriously?? Someone has nothing better to do than to criticize a 2 year old for sucking her fingers?? Really?? It amazes me how some can be so mean. I'm glad you are taking the high road..you are SO much better than stooping to the level of "anonymous".

I love you!! Keep on keeping on! And give that sweet little finger sucker a BIG hug from me! :)
~M

Anonymous said...

Now now, let's get the story straight. Don't lie. Your daughter is quite adorable.

I said the HABIT is disgusting. Not your daughter. The HABIT she has itself is disgusting.

V said...

I sucked my thumb untill I was 11 :)
I love your blog, your photos are beautiful, I loooove the way you dress Regan and Sarah, I wish I could dress my Sarah like that too but here we don't have that kind of clothes in fact I started "trying" to get better photos of my Sarah since I found your blog, it's such an inspiration!
It's hard when someone say nasty things about our girls but don't listen to him/her it's just 1 saying something negative there are 100 that love your blog like me :)

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I don't need to lie.... the comment is still up on the post. I think the tone of the comment speaks for itself, but thanks for your clarification. I think you could have found a nicer way to say it. I personally found it condescending and mean.....as did a few others that read it earlier this week.

Lisa

Sharie said...

Amelia is 7 and still sucks on her blanket to soothe herself (a habit she also picked up in the orphanage). When our kids have been through the trauma of losing everything they know; smells, sounds, language, people who look like them, THEIR FIRST FAMILY! Allowing them to hold on to their coping mechanism is KIND....is healthy, is a PARENT'S decision.
I love that your photos are real, that you don't pull Reagan's fingers out of her mouth, but you shoot how she is in the moment.
Keep on keepin' on.

Gail said...

You already know my feelings on this subject, but I'll say a few of them again...
Reagan is 2 and an adorable finger sucker. I'll say it again..SHE'S 2!!!
It's not going to harm her.

Will still sucks his finger at 6. If it calms our children, so what?

This unhappy person needs to get a life and move on with their own. Just saw how 'Anonymous' struck again. Good grief!

What a beautiful post about kindness. Lisa, you're one of the kindest people I've personally ever known!

hugs to you,
Gail

Shannon said...

Lisa I am so sorry this is happening to you. Obviously this is a person with some deep-rooted insecurities and they are taking it out on you. As for the finger sucking - it is a security blanket and I have a friend whose daughter did it until she was 9. Perhaps if your anon commenter sucked on her fingers she might feel better too.

Terri said...

Wow! I just went and looked for her comment. Stay off this blog lady! I'm sure your reading all these comments as well. Haven't you hear the phrase "if you don't have anything nice to say.. don't say anything at all!" Do you feel better now Anonymous? Unreal!

Jboo said...

So sorry you've had to deal with this Lisa! How rude!! So tacky!


janet
xoxo

Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa....I read your blog, but have never left a comment. Just wanted to take a minute to say thanks for sharing your family, photography, food and all things inspiring! I think you Rock! Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Kate

Kayce said...

Lisa don't let anything or anyone get in your way of being the mommy you are...You are a treasure and your Reagan is as well.

And hey anonymous...Once you've had a child that has been through what any institutionalized child has been though you'd understand but until then go fight with others who have your same cowardly problems.

Michelle R Photography said...

That is so sad, Lisa!! I cannot even believe someone would use such a word to describe something that is so innocent. I am so sorry that you have been the target of such unkind words. I hope your beautiful images of Reagan and the Valentine's candy sends a message that hits home to "Anonymous."

xoxo,
Michelle

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Goodness.
I just went back and read the comment from "anonymous." She did say the habit was disgusting. But, she also said it in a way that was condescending, mean, and hateful. It was very obvious what her intention was from the tone of her words. Anonymous, you need to get a life. Until you have parented a previously institutionalized child, you will never understand this. And as others have said, she's TWO for goodness sakes! And who cares if she sucks her fingers until she's in college? It's nobody's business!

Lisa, thank you for giving us a peek into your world. Your kids are precious, your pictures are beautiful, your hair is funky and cute, and you are a great cook. Jealousy is an ugly thing, but your life is all beauty. Don't let one ugly person tarnish that.

I'll proudly sign my name....
Brandi

teena said...

I'm so sorry you have to read comments like that - and totally untrue ones too! Reagan is 2!!! My daughter was sucking her thumb for comfort and only stopped because it got all infected and was too painful to suck. But it was her comfort and we weren't about to take that away from her. You are doing the right thing. Ignore this person. Making my blood boil just thinking about it...Grrrr

Briana's Mom said...

Wow - obviously this is someone that has a little too much time on her hands. R is only 26 months old. Little kids suck on their fingers all the time for comfort. Is this person going to comment on every single blog in which she sees something like this happening? I used to suck on all four fingers (I did it unconsciously while I slept) until I was about 4 or 5. All I can say is that this is your life, your kid and your business. This woman needs to mind her own.

Debbie said...

Oh my word!! If you cannot say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. Opinions were not asked for, so don't offer them!! So sorry Lisa that you had to be attacked like this. What is our world coming to, that people need to puruse the internet looking for a sweet innocent blog to leave nasty comments, I don't understand it. =(
Debbie

Anonymous said...

What is the difference between Reagan sucking her fingers and other babies using pacifiers? There's nothing wrong with either. As far as any damage it may cause- I sucked my thumb until I was in elementary school and my teeth turned out perfectly straight.

All you have to do is look at Reagan in your gorgeous photos to see how she has blossomed since coming into your home. She is happy, healthy and loved. You are a wonderful mother!

Sandra

Sophie said...

That is so sad that an adult would make such a rude comment like that.

I've never known anyone to force their child to suck their fingers, or thumb. My daughter came home at 1 yr. old and she sucked her two fingers, it gave her comfort and she
eventually stopped on her own, we never tried to force her to stop.

Shame on you anonymous for picking on this child and being rude to this lovely family.

Lisa, you have a beautiful family and are an inspiration to many!!

Mimi said...

Lisa I am so sorry you've had to deal with this anonymous person, and a mean and unwarranted comment.
I am really upset that somebody would write such rubbish on your blog.
I love your blog, and as I've said many times, it brightens my day to see a new post of yours. You are such a kind, generous and wonderful person.
It would be such a shame if you had to go private cos of this silly person.

Anonymous - how about you mind your own business? When one finger is pointing outwards, there are two pointing back at yourself.So whatever the reason for your comment,(eg jealousy) maybe you'd do better to be less judgemental.

Tara said...

Oh Lisa, I can't imagine that ANYONE would ever say something negative about you, your family, your choices. That's terrible and it makes me angry too. You are the most giving person I've "met" through blogging; your time, your heart, your talents. Your family is beautiful and the life you've created for your children is inspiring. ~ sweet Reagan, you keep those two little fingers as handy as you need. Feel safe with them for as long as you want. Be little for as long as you can and soak in the love your family has for you each day.

Hang in there Lisa, so sorry about those comments you've gotten.

Tara said...

Dear Anonymous,
Find something else to do with your time. Didn't you ever learn "unless you have something nice to say don't say anything at all"? Really, where are your manners?! I don't even like the tone of your "now, now...." comment back to Lisa. Back off... what do you know about this sweet little girl who has endured so much in her little life? Find somehthing else to read!

Marla said...

Dear rude, jealous coward,
If you're going to come back to try and "clarify" your hateful comment (while calling my friend a liar), why not go ahead and sign your name? I don't get this hiding behind "anonymous" thing, are you ashamed of who you are? Grow a pair and own up to what you have to say or shut the hell up!

Shasta said...

Anonymous....

So how many blogs do you comment on and then sit with baited breath for a reaction? I know your type so well, you get a sick feeling of joy when you seem to make people feel sad, discouraged or the most valuable reaction in your book...angry. Why? Because you're angry. I think it's safe to say that you have adoption issues, either you are trying or wanting to adopt or I would bet money you're an adoptee. Otherwise, why would you have searched out this blog? It wasn't for photography, because you don't attack the photography. You choose to attack the parenting that two very special little girls are receiving. Therefore, I'm guessing you are adopted and for reasons beyond comprehension is wasn't a great experience. I'm sorry for you, truly I am. I wonder how many hours fill your day with you desperately trying to make "someone pay". You won't get that here, this story has a happy ending. If those who were supposed to protect you didn't, I'm sorry, truly I am. I encourage you to seek out therapy and quit hiding behind your anonymous comments. Regardless of your opinions, Lisa is and will be happy, as will her children. Their home is filled to the brim with things that matter most, love, protection, patience and understanding. Your commentors won't affect any of that, in fact, Lisa will become even more protective. She will do what she needs to do to protect her children. You can't touch this family with your own anger, sadness or feelings of no self worth.

Lisa....please give this person NO real estate in your mind or heart. She's sick and by reacting to her, you're enabling her. This blog will serve as a diary of sorts for your family, turn off anonymous commentors, the good ones will understand. You're an amazing mother, photographer and friend, this person is none of those and that's why she's choosing to attack you. Love, light and support grassroots way, I love you sweet friend. For the record, my Bella Bug sucks 3 fingers!

Shasta said...

Oh boy *grassroots*....gotta love auto correct! You know what I meant, mmmmmwah!

Shasta said...

One more thing Lisa...it took a good friend all of 2 hours and 100.00 to find out who her snarky, anonymous commentor was. In the end she had a name, alias, sisters name, address and phone number. Let me know if you'd like the info.

Stefanie said...

Aw, MAN! That is just downright mean! So glad to see all these heartfelt and loving comments to remind you that you ARE a wonderful mama, and your kiddos are doing marvelously because of all the TLC you shower on them :) Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch, my friend! We LOVE YOU and your beautiful family... and you are doing what is JUST RIGHT for Miss Reagan!!
oxoxo,
Stefanie

Anonymous said...

We all have habits and that is what makes each of us unique. When you call someone's habit disgusting you are making a statement about the person because it is the person who has the habit. The "other" anonymous should know this.

There are ways to break habits and I suppose if Lisa wanted to break Reagan's habit of sucking her fingers she could, but that is entirely up to Lisa and her family and not for anyone to judge.

Martha @ Berrybliz said...

So sorry you're having to deal with a nut case. I love your blog, love your photos, love love love how you dress your kids etc etc etc... I took the anonymous off my blog because I got one weirdo response one time....and didn't want any more. Keep up the good work, and ignore the nuts!

Ellie said...

Sweet Lisa, I am so so sorry you have had to be victim of this kind of bullying. We all know you are a generous, kind person.

and fyi Tia sucks her thumb at age 5.5. though of course I'm hoping she quits soon ;)

xo ellie

Curt, Pam, Ryan and Carissa said...

We had just been home with our daughter two weeks and someone criticized me for giving her a bottle past one. I simply told her that this was out bonding time and I plan on snuggling and giving her a bottle for as long as I feel needed. She also sucked her thumb and was scolded by the dentist and hygienist when we first came home. I also told them that this was her coping mechanism and she has had enough taken away from her, I am not going to break that habit this soon. We finally did break the habit by the time she had turned four (due to a tooth she had damaged when falling, otherwise she would probably still be sucking her thumb for night time). Some people just think they know what is best for others children by us mama's know what is best for them. Praying this person, has a change of heart and stops posting such ignorant statements.

Dita said...

Lisa,

You know exactly how I feel about ANONYMOUS...and the UNKIND words I had to say about HER this week.

What is amazing is that everyone knows how tech savvy you are and she STILL thinks she's anonymous. Laughable.

Dear ANONYMOUS,
I close my eyes and see you running to lisa's blog every second tracking her comings and goings. I see the steam from your ears and you seething with jealousy at every post.
It's hard being you, isn't it... having this front row seat to all that you DON'T have...a beautiful, loving family, friendships and a full life along with the ability to share it all so eloquently in words and pictures and it all being TRUE. Lots of people I know are good photographers and have blogs, Anonymous...but that doesn't mean that what they write is TRUE and honest...Lisa's is and you know it...and that's what eats at YOU and makes you not able to look away. You're a slave to your own insecurities and you're so angry.
It really irks you that she has such loyal friendships and followers who adore her...hard to imagine that, being you, isn't it...people who support her and who she always finds the time to support in blogs, in photography and in real life. You've got to give to recieve, Anonymous...I sure do hope you receive exactly what YOU give....you truly deserve it! I had to laugh today, you calling Lisa a liar, right here...among all of her friends...oh, so far from reality...we can read the comments for ourselves...Lisa left them up for us to see AND for you to remember your shameful behavior. Honestly, Anonymous, GREEN is not your color!
May Karma be nipping at your heels, Hater.
Rock on with your BAD self!

P.S.
I find it interesting that other commenters think you may have somehow grown some class or a heart had you adopted...but that's just not true, is it. Either you have that mean streak in you or you don't. We know your mean streak is a mile long...like a wind tunnel that big gaping hole in your soul...its hard being you.

Stay tuned...Lisa's got a lifetime of living ahead to share with us...and hopefully you won't implode midway through...I sure will miss the laughs!

the meaklims said...

((big hugs))

YOU are an incredible Mama. Don't ever forget that. And your children are so beautiful in every single way.

I call it jealousy.

Jill

Cindy M said...

I almost emailed you the other day when I read that comment. OH, it made me mad! Caroline just turned six, and, when she's tired and has her pink blanket, she still sticks her thumb in her mouth. And every time she does it, the little soft spot for her in my heart gets a little softer. The very first night I put her to bed in the port-a-crib in China, I watched her try to pull up her sleeper to snuggle with as that thumb went into her mouth. And the gravity of the moment reminded me that she had never been rocked to sleep...that thumb and the shirt on her back were all she had to comfort herself to sleep.

Over the last five years, several people have commented when we're out. Despite the fact that I can usually ignore what they say, it infuriates me. That is part of who she is, even now. And that's not anybody else's decision to change.

You are an amazing mom. And I love your post, from the first word right down to the amazing photos.

Becky said...

I cannot say anything any better than my friends Marla and Dita did. So I will just say ditto to what they say, Ms Anonymous, and add go take your hatred somewhere else!

Lisa,
Hugs to you my friend! Love ya girlie!

Jonni said...

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this Lisa. I just read your post and all I can think is someone is a very sad person that would make mean comments like that. XOXO

BTW, I love the pics! Too cute.

3 Peanuts said...

Lisa,

Reagan is darling. YOU are her Mama and YOU know what she needs.

It makes me so sad that there are so many unhappy people out there that waste their time trying to spread the unhappiness.

Unfortunately I have had my share of mean comments too. About 6 months ago someone commented on how skinny Harry was and alluded in follow up comments that I had an eating disorder that I was transferring to him!!!! How ridiculous. Harry has had serious health issues and we are little people. I was SO SKINNY as a kid.

Like you, I am PRETTY darned sure I know who it was and it all made sense.


Like you, I wanted to keep anon comments available to some family and friends that did not have google accounts. But I eventually got rid of them. Now those people e-mail me their comments:) Or they call me which is even better. Life is too short for me to waste energy reading about someone else's issues.

Also, I immediately pray for the person because I really feel sorry for them. In fact, I am going to pray for your commenter. Clearly, they need it. Big hugs to you. You make the world a much brighter place. Seriously, I have only seen you be kind and loving and always willing to help others out.

Kim

Leggio said...

Just came across your blog through Jennifer's blog. Oh, my goodness my almost six year old boy still sucks his thumb. LOL!!!!!! I figure he won't be in college sucking his thumb so oh well. We are adopting a little girl from China awaiting our Article 5 and she sucks her thumb too. I loved it. Thought it was sooooo sweet. have a blessed Sunday.

Carole said...

Dear Lisa,
Some people are so miserable sometimes that they need to bring people down so that it makes them feel better! Please remember that "what goes around, comes around"....it's called karma! I hope that you can put this behind you and move on as this type of comments deserve no attention at all. I also wish that this "anonymous" person can move on and find inner peace! There's no point in hurting people.
Take care.

Karen said...

Hi Lisa, I have no idea how I found your blog, but I have been following it since you came home from China. I too am an adoptive mom to a beautiful China doll. I think you seem like an awesome mom and I wish I lived near you so I could get to know you personally. I can't believe people can be so cruel. Your children are beautiful. I always hope I would bump into you when you vacation on the Cape. I spend the summer on Cape Cod every year. I hope you don't make your blog private because I would be sad. I look forward to reading it every morning.

Karen McCarthy
Noton, MA

jade said...

Well, this was a very nice post, until the explanation of it's existence.

As for Anonymous: what is the difference between commenting on a child's HABIT and commenting on the child (and the parents at the same time)? I don't get it - at all. As for a habit being disgusting: what is wrong with having fingers in your mouth? Have you tried it? You should! Add something sweet and sticky if yours don't taste nice the first time and before you know it, you'll be addicted! But you won't be hurting anyone while you're at it, unlike those who have a habit of smoking or drinking or doing drugs or typing comments to a blog that shows something they don't like....- I really don't understand what could make you think it is a disgusting habit, but I don't need to know either!

Lisa, I'll be back (if I may), because I love your blog, your pictures, your stories and above all the images they all convey of your lovely family. Oh, and also, because you remind me to be kind and to take time to enjoy my children and good food...

Tiffany said...

Lisa,

Your post is beautiful and a fabulous reminder to all...so sorry for the unkind comments. June has also sucked her thumb since we brought her home, no worries here:)

Tiffany

Marla said...

PS- I love these shots of the hearts and Reags' precious little hands. I'm guessing she snuck a few of those treats into her cute little mouth, too. :)

Larissa Boechat said...

Dear Lisa,

I am a reader of your blog who had never left a comment before, but today I need to.

You are an awesome woman and an incredible mom who has a beautiful family and I think that really bothers Anonymous.

I'd just like to let you know that I am a 27 years old lawyer, not adopted, and that I sucked my thumb until I was nine despite my parents best efforts.

Sweet little Reagan is not disgusting nor is her habit. She looks even cuter in the pictures when she is sucking her little fingers.

Hope you have a great week,

Larissa.
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

Emma said...

I always thought the pictures of Reagan sucking her fingers were so precious and adorable. Besides, I think it shows part of he history of being adopted, and making herself feel better. I've met kids who sucked there finger past the age of 10! And Reagan's 2!!! Are you kidding me? Thats EXTREAMLY normal for kids! Reagan its sooo incredibly cute, anonymous is simply jealous of the absolutley adoradble little girl you have!

Emma from, justalittlephotgraphy.blogspot.com

Gary Stallcup said...

Lisa,

I have had the privilege of following your incredible journey to China to rescue sweet baby Reagan. It is beyond my ability to understand how anyone could make such an abrasive comment towards the smallest amoung us. Anonymous needs to know that God does love her, too! Until she understands the grace of God, she will never understand the true grace that you used in addressing her comment. As a mother who WILL defend their children, she surely knew the blogging world would have a few comments of their own.

God has clear directions for us mothers who have the power over the moral development of our children and it would do us all well to read Proverbs 31:10-31 at least once a week!!

Proverbs: 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Only GOD could love our children more ^-^

likeschocolate said...

So sorry Lisa that you have had to read these nasty comments. I guess it is easy for some people to hide behind the label of Anon and make judgements about what others do or not do. Pretty pathetic in my opionion. What I don't understand is why these people continue to visit blogs if they don't agree with what they see. No one forces them to come to our sights. Thankfully, I haven't had this problem but I am sure it is just a matter of time. Well, I guess we will just have to say a prayer for this person that they can find a better way to spend their time then to make nasty comments. Wishing you a peaceful weekend.

Michelle said...

Lisa - I love your blog. I love being able to see snippets of your life. I love your photography. Thank you for sharing.

Hannah said...

I don't usually take the time to comment, if I do it's usually just on Facebook...but this really got me. How on earth can anyone look at that sweet baby face and those fingers and say something like that? The only explanation I can come up with is that they are certifiably crazy.

I for one enjoy every picture and post you put on here. You guys have a beautiful family with three crazy beautiful/handsome kids. Anyone who reads your blog and sees anything less is just crazy in the head.

Kristie said...

You have a beautiful family.

Grace said...

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let the few bad/rude/hurtful comments upset you. I've been following your blog for a while now and personally, I feel like you're an awesome, loving mom- the kind of mom I hope to be someday. And it looks like there are 75+ people who agree with me!

Alice said...

Seriously, I think you're the MOST kind , caring , loving, and sensitive person! I can't imagine anyone who could even think of and anything unkind to say to you. It's clear who has the problem...and it's not you! You're a truly beautiful person inside and out!

Cindy said...

I love your blog and learned so much along the way, your photography is just amazing!
For the rude anoyomous reader out there, we are all adults try to act like one!
I love seeing pictures of Reagan, she has the sweetest little dimples and smile that breaks everyone's heart.

Anonymous said...

I have lost more of my favorite blog sites from "Anonymous" people being so unkind. Why? Why would people even spend time on sites they don't like and then comment on suck sites. I just don't get it.

That people must be unhappy. I have learned mean people are just unhappy with a part of their life and they want to bring other people down too.

You are an awesome mom and doing a WONDERFUL job!! Don't worry about that person!!

BTW- Here is song for you. I like to listen to it when a certain person is being mean to me too. Funny, after awhile, I actually start to laugh over it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE

Sharyn (Chinamom)

Thanks for keep it open for us anonymous users!! ;o)

Anonymous said...

I don't comment very often, but I just had to say I LOVE thumb and finger suckers. They just look too cute, including my own daughter!

Psalm45Girl said...

UNbelievable.

First, the comment itself and then, the anonymous commenter's attempt to clarify and defend her ugly comment?

Please. Ugly is evident. And gets uglier when attempts are made to justify it.

Ugly Anonymous commenter needs to shut her pie hole. And move along.

And that's all I'm gonna say about that. :)

The Sanders Family said...

How awful, Lisa! People who cut others down are just insecure and jealous. Don't dwell on it. Just remember that it has no impact on who you are and who your kiddos are. It's just a reflection of anonymous's shortcomings. We are called to lift each other up, as told in one of my favorite verses: "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians, 5:11" All you can do is continue to be the kind person all of your blog followers know you to be and not worry about hatred held by others. Hugs to you!!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Dita said it best. And that's all I'm saying. (And in terms of anonymous' identity - I'm thinking about our recent phone conversation. Am I right in recalling that?)

Anonymous said...

I read your blog on occasion. You and I couldn't be more different and probably would never cross paths in life. It doesn't appear, though, that you are abusing your children or raising them to become ax-murderers, SO CARRY ON!!!

By the way, my son must be disgusting: he is 9 years old (and then some) and still sucks his thumb. He is also a very kind big brother, a caring friend, a role model at school, and one of the sweetest and funniest people you could ever hope to meet. Plus, he does the dishes! Disgusting, indeed!

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

love, love, love your post!

Sweet Lisa,

You are an AMAZING mother and a wonderful friend to so many!! Just look at all of the love and support that has been left for you. I often think how very blessed your children are...and I know you feel very blessed to have them in your life. There is NOTHING you wouldn't do to make their world a better place....nothing! And thank YOU for traveling around the world to bring home your beautiful Reagan and for sharing your awesome talent to help those who are still left behind.

When I see Reagan sucking on her fingers...or my Lauren sucking on her finger when she is tired or nervous...or my Mia Hope sucking on her arm when she is scared...or my Liliana hitting her arm against her mouth when she feels threatened... I find it heartbreaking. It's a reminder that for many years...it was all they had to soothe themselves.

I don't know who "anonymous" is... but I find it sad that he or she has to hide behind an "anonymous" post to hurt others...so that he/she can feel better. Does this person not have better things to do with his/her time?

Someone once told me "you can't rationalize an irrational person"


Thank you for sharing not only your beautiful family...but all the things that you do so well!

Have a great week!


Love and blessings,
Robin

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I wanted to come this morning to say thank you to everyone for their support and encouragement. I have read every last comment......and I have to say, you all are the best!!! It feels good to know I am part of a community of people that always have your back when needed. My hope is that "Anonymous" learned his/her lesson....and may not be so quick to type out hurtful words to me or anyone else for that matter.

Hope that you all have a fabulous Monday.

Much Love,

Lisa

Anonymous said...

i love reading ur blog..pls continue enjoy blogging cos i enjoy reading ur blog..i feel the love in between the words/pics.

jennifer said...

I'm so sorry. Anonymous has been visiting me also from time to time...so frustrating! She definitely crossed the line with this one! Wesleigh also sucks her finger. I don't care how long she does it...it's all she had to comfort her in China! I couldn't agree with you more. It is a sad person who feels like they have to tear everyone else down to make themselves feel better. BTW...my heart melts everytime I see that precious baby with her fingers in her mouth!!

Michele McLean said...

What is the point of commenting on something so ridiculous. She's a baby and an adorable baby. If she wants to suck her thumb, fingers .. so be it! She is comforting herself.

Anonymous - Just keep your negative thoughts and comments to yourself! No need to post here if you have nothing nice to say.

Loren said...

I love your blog and your photos are phenomenal. I would love to be able to buy some on cards to send to friends (highly unlikely as I live in the UK).
As for those who have nothing better to do than make unpleasant comments - only words from the people you care about are important. As my mom used to say 'those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter'.

Jeanne said...

Lisa

Your anonymous prowler is pretty disgusting herself. hope she gets the message and keeps her acid comments to herself in future.
love Jeanne

karen said...

You're a wonderful mother with beautiful children, it's hard to fathom why some people are just mean. Best wishes to you.

Karen said...

Lisa,
I just giggled when I read what the complaint was. That is my VERY favorite part of your blog....seeing those two fingers in her month!!! I even told my DH about it one night and he giggled!
I love all your post and watching your baby grow up. I have no clue either how I found your blog but followed your journey getting Reagan.
Keep up with the great post and ignore the people that are sad enough not to put a name to their post!

Kristi said...

So sorry Lisa, you of all people should not have had to endure such hateful and hurtful comments!
You clearly are a beautiful person who loves her children dearly, works incredibly hard, and with God's help manages to remain graceful in life's tough times. Any rationale reader of your blog would come to these same conclusions!! And your kids, are all three GORGEOUS!!

Eva said...

Lisa,

It is clear that you and your family are dearly loved. I can't really add much to what has already been said. Anger and jealousy are evil, pure evil. Praying the Lord will help you to continue to stand tall!

From one proud mama of a finger sucker girl to another! Hugs!

duedeux said...

Dear Lisa,

Let me share this experience with you; it might provide another perspective on who is making this comment on something which is none of their business!
When we traveled to China to adopt our daughter, we were with other adoptive parents who already had a daughter previously adopted in China. That little girl had a habit of sucking her finger when she was tired, emotional, etc…
Upon landing in Beijing, at the custom control, a lady custom officer scanned that little girl with a handheld sonar or whatever you call it. Of course, this scared her and she started sucking her finger and the custom officer twice took that little girl’s hand out of her mouth. I think it (fingersucking) is not at all well perceived in China.

Please don’t pay attention to this kind of comment; it's not worth it and please keep on showing us your beautiful daughter.

Christine

Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa,

I love to visit your blog. My youngest sucked her two fingers up until she was six and then she suddenly stopped.

I love your photography and to watch your beautiful family. I just wish I could take photos like you!

All the best,

Anita in Sweden

freckles & dimples said...

sheesh...come back to your blog to catch up after a few days and my word, the drama! who the hell cares if Reagan sucks her fingers? Good gawd, if anonymous was ever in my home, I'd be hung by my fingernails. we've got boogers, smelly 8 year olds who hate showers, and {gasp} kids who dont always wash their hands when they should. If anonymous's perfection only came so easily to us all, she wouldnt have much to talk about. My only aside in all of this is the commenter who bet that anonymous was an adoptee.
:( we arent all screwed up and dont hold resentment towards our (or any) adoptive parents. your blog is beautiful, as is your family.
Mindy

Sharon said...

I am always amazed at the audacity of people. If they don't like it, don't want to see it or read about it. Just don't come to visit your blog. It's really that simple. Some people just thrive on that kind of thing and it's just best to ignore them!

Elle said...

Love your elegant blog, Lisa. I enjoy seeing the darling clothes the kids wear, the beautiful pictures you take, and everything about your blog. Too bad those who have ugly, unwarranted comments to make don't realize that in sharing them, they are actually exhibiting their own misery.

Gina Kleinworth said...

WOW Lisa- I am absolutely shocked that anyone would have anything negative to say about anything about you, the family or this blog. The face that it comes from anonymous is cowardice to say the least. You know I pinned something the other day that said "haters don't really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you're a reflection of what they wish to be". My hubs & I talk about this all the time. There is something about you that makes this person see all their faults- they have to find something to give you a jab about because they are that petty that they can't just do something as simple as not visit anymore. It's beyond low to comment about Reagan negatively. How could someone find anything wrong with that perfect, precious child?!

You have been such an inspiration to me. I come & visit you & I leave with my heart just that much larger. It pains me to think that someone would be that nasty towards you Lisa. Here for you- you have my shoulder & support!!!

Gina Kleinworth said...

Oh- & in all that I forgot to mention just how much I love these photos :) Beautiful!!!

Alyson and Ford said...

Sorry for the hurtful comments from "anonymous"; love your photography and reading all the wonderful responses to this post. You made lemonade from lemons!

Alyzabeth's Mommy

Catherine said...

Oh Lisa, I am SO sorry!! There are some awful people in this world who get joy out of causing others hurt. I am just so very, very thankful that that spirit is not one I was born with.

On occasion I too have received some very, very hurtful comments. Oh do they hurt! I have one person who likes to target my blog every time I snap a pic where Hannah might be seen eating something this person feels is unhealthy.

So far what I've found to be the cure is to put comment moderation on at all times. I started this last fall and so far the anonymous ^*&*^& has not left a comment.

What I didn't realize was the liberation I would feel. Knowing nothing was being posted without me reading it first allows me the freedom from wondering if he/she has posted anything I'll have to delete and who may have read it.

Is it a hassle? A little bit but for the peace of mind and freedom to post what I want, it's totally worth it to me.

And my blog mantra: My Blog. My Delete Key!

Debberoo said...

Sorry you had to see a comment like that. Be Kind is right and what would be "disgusting" is if a mother were to try to deny their child the ability to self sooth.

Can't believe how Little Miss R has grown!

Missy and John said...

I'm sorry this anonymous person wrecked your day. My 9 year old sucked her thumb the moment she was placed in our arms. She has since moved on to nail biting. A friend's biological child had this impressive, two-handed technique. The child used one hand to rub her upper lip while sucking the thumb of the other hand. Anonymous would run screaming from our house. Not only does my 9 year have her hand in her mouth all the time, but our yellow lab sucks on any pillow or blanket she can get her mouth on. Anyway, I love your blog. Your kids are terrific.

AC said...

Obviously "anonymous" was never taught that if you don't have something nice to say then say nothing at all!! My daughter is nearly 4 1/2 and still sucks her thumb which was also her comfort in China...she was adopted 2 years ago and even now her thumb is her comfort when she is frightened or has hurt feelings. Eventually she will stop on her own. And she takes care to dry her thumb off on her shirt if she is going to touch something or someone. I think we should band together and pray for "anonymous". I don't understand why she continues to read the blog if she doesn't like it, but God knows who she is so she need not think she will get away with being mean and rude and hurtful. I stumbled on your blog from Stefanie's blog and I love it!! Shame on anonymous...hope she doesn't crack that glass house she lives in with those boulders she is trying to throw!!