With Much Anticipation

June 14, 2008

On Monday, I have my annual visit to the oncologist, and I am so dreading it! I know....I have to go and it is for my own good, but every time I walk through those doors I relive the most horrible years of my life. The waiting room will be filled with about 30 women who have or had cancer. This is not only the doctors office, but the place where they also administer chemotherapy to their patients. The minute I am in there I feel so sick to my stomach with worry that I am going to hear the words......your cancer has returned!

When I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, I had no idea anything was wrong and was totally shocked that I could have a tumor the size of a softball growing inside of me and not know it. I am a pretty healthy person and am usually pretty in tune with my body. So let's just say that since then, I am a little panicky when it comes to not feeling well....I hesitate to use the word hypochondriac, but I could definitely fit into that category at times! Life is so precious and I got a second chance, I don't want to be naive, so yes....I think I have the right to be a bit of a hypochondriac!

When I go in on Monday I will get the dreaded exam and PAP Test, then be sent for a series of tests over the next week. They usually include a CA-125, which is a blood test for ovarian cancer, an ultra-sound of my abdominal area, a mammogram, and CAT Scan. Then it is time to wait for all of the results to come back....this is the worst part!

I know it has been just about 8 years that I have been cancer free, but it does not make it any easier. I have had a couple scares along the way, but so far so good. My life is great....I have a wonderful, loving husband, 2 beautiful children, with a 3rd on the way(soon we hope), terrific family and friends, an incredible job, a beautiful house we have made into our home......it cannot change....I have to be healthy and I have to live the rest of my life! I never want to hear the dreaded words "It's Cancer" again! I hope and pray that this year will be like the last and instead I hear...no sign of recurrence, you are cancer free!


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you go through that every year. I know you will be fine but it's always good to take every necessary precautions. You are in my prayers!

Love always,

Briana's Mom said...

I'll be praying for you! I am sure everything will be just fine!

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Thinking of you and I am sure it will be fine... take care

DC said...

I'm sending you big hugs and will be thinking of you on Monday. You are such a strong woman! *hugs*

Alyson and Ford said...

This must be very worrisome! I cannot imagine what you go through.
My prayer for you has been said. You seem to be very blessed!

Alyson LID 01/27/06

Jboo said...

Sending good thoughts and prayers for you that you receive continued good news on Monday.


Jodee said...

Good luck on Monday. I will be thinking about you! Please keep your bloggy friends posted!

Becky said...

Thinking of your today. Hoping and praying your results are just fine.

Take care,

Bridget said...

Thinking about you and so sorry you have to go through this every year. I'll keep you in my prayers that everything turns out just great. Take Care!